Milestones

Okay, it's a little early to celebrate, but I'm going to anyway.

If you've been following along on here, you know I've been struggling with writing thanks to my depression lately. To be completely frank about it, I haven't been able to finish anything novel-length since at least March of last year.

It's looking like that's about to change.

I've referenced HELLFIRE on my progress bar over there, and mentioned it several times on Facebook and Twitter. I started it as my first long-form project since my diagnosis, and now, finally, I can see the end to it in sight. I've already figured out the last three chapters (if I can pull it off in the writing, they should be quite mind-blowing), and am firmly in the third act. I see the end in sight, in other words. I'm feeling that old excitement coming back, and hopefully, that will be enough to see me through.

Two more chapters done the night I write and post this, only a handful left before the climax I set up in the fist. I finally feel that same passion I did when I first started this with an eye toward doing it professionally again. I have to say: that's a glorious feeling.

My life's not where I want it to be; far from it. But at least this one aspect is finally back on track.

And that's cause for celebration!

Storytelling in the Strangest Places

While I was taking a break from writing to get my head straight, one of the things I did to fill my time was catch up on my gaming. Not tabletop, this time, but rather video games. I've been a fan of them for a long, long time, but life prevented me from getting into any good ones lately. Since I had the chance, I decided to try out some of the ones that I'd been hearing lots of good things about. As a result, I found two in particular that really struck me as having some immaculate storytelling that drew me in just as much as any book or movie or television show could.

People have been saying for years that video games are the next generation of immersive home entertainment, perhaps even poised to overtake TV and movies. With storytelling like these two possess, I can definitely see it.

All in the Name of Relaxation

Sometimes you just need to get away, even if it's just for a night. The real fun comes when even your escape refuses to let you free from the stress you were trying to avoid.

I'll explain. As a caution, this is a long post, though I think you'll find it amusing enough. Looking back on it, I certainly do....

A while back, I saw that Brian Keene was going to be at ConNooga in Chattanooga, a pretty easy 2 hour drive for me. I looked at my day job schedule and finances, and found that it was possible for me to go, as long as I went on Sunday, the less expensive of the con's three days, and (at the time) the one day I had off from the day job. Two hours there, spend some time hanging out and such, and then two hours back. A fairly easy day trip.

On the Horizon

It's been a busy week for me, and one where I haven't managed to get a lot of actual writing done. That always leaves me feeling out-of-sorts, but sometimes it's just unavoidable. I have made some progress on both SATYR and WARLOCK, as well as knocking out the prologue of my modern-day fairy-tale that will be up after one of those is done. Also, since my brain never seems to shut off, I've been tinkering with other ideas. So, in the interest of helping myself keep things straight, here's what's coming down the pipeline for me in the next few months.

First, I have made arrangements to do some behind the scenes work on books for other folks as well. I won't be going into detail on that because I'm honestly not sure how much I'm allowed to say about it, but once I can announce more, I will.

Second, if you're expecting signed books from me, they ARE coming, I promise. It's been rough finance-wise the last few weeks, and I just had a vehicular emergency to deal with, but I'll be getting those in the mail VERY soon. I am sorry for the delay, but some things just can't be avoided.

Next, as I mentioned, I'm working on two books at once again. This time around, it's easier than the last time I attempted it. I think because it's helping to keep things fresher for me, more fun. I get stuck on one, I switch to the other, and vice-versa. No more trying to hammer my way through when the story's not showing me what's next fast enough. I'm even planning a third project, so all of those should be getting progress updates in the very near future.

Finally, I'm tinkering with an idea. It was originally going to be a feature on this site, but that may be changing to something else. I'll announce it once I have more of an idea what format it's going to take, and exactly how it's going to work.

Also, I have something planned for late spring that I'll be announcing sometime next month, and have a new novel coming from Bloodshot Books near the end of this year or start of next year, so keep an eye out for announcements regarding that as summer crosses into fall. I'm also working on some other things that I hope to have announcements for in the very near future. I may not be very vocal about what I'm doing, but rest assured there is A LOT going on. I just have to wait until there's something to talk about before doing so.

That said, you can make sure to check out my latest appearance on Armand Rosamilia's Arm Cast Podcast by clicking here. He even does a brief review of MUDCAT on the air, which I had no idea was coming when I recorded the interview. It's looking like everyone so far has enjoyed reading that one as much as I enjoyed writing it, so that is an immeasurable relief!

Anyway, back to the grind stone, and keep your eyes peeled for more announcements soon!

You'll Float, Too: My Review of Stephen King's "IT: Chapter One"

Adapting a novel to another medium is no easy task. Add in a previous adaptation that has achieved a level of cult success, and things get even harder. When the work in question is from Stephen King, a man whose career is littered with a series of hit-or-miss (mostly miss) adaptations to the screen, the task might even start to border on the impossible. Finally, consider that the source material is a whopping 1,000+ pages, and many would prefer to give up before they even begin. The odds are almost guaranteed that you'll produce something closer to Maximum Overdrive than you will to Shawshank Redemption or The Green Mile.

Thankfully, IT gets it right.

There's a balance to adapting a novel to a visual medium, be it comics or television or movies. The printed word allows you to get inside your character's heads, to be the character in a way. Since a book can be as long as it needs to be, the story can be a slow-burner to develop the characters and the world and the problems. Movies and television have a set amount of time to tell the story, so often such luxuries fall by the wayside. In Hollywood, it's generally accepted that 1 page of script is the equivalent of 1 minute of screen time. A thousand hours is longer than most television series ever get, much less a movie. So how do you adapt it, and do it right?

By getting to the essence of the story and the characters, and not spending a large amount of time on the fluff.

Waiting is the Hardest Part... But It's Worth It

We've all heard that little homily before in regards to something or another: "waiting is the hardest part." When it comes to publishing, it's a fact of life. Still, once you accept it, you can deal with it. There's a wait between finishing a first draft and starting revisions, and another one once you send the manuscript out for editing, and once more when you submit it somewhere. For all of those, you simply work on something else and the wait doesn't seem so bad.

When you're in the final countdown to publication, though, that wait is suddenly MUCH more intense.

As I write this, the release date for THE JOURNAL OF JEREMY TODD is just over three weeks away. We're in the final stages, in other words. That means ramping up the promotional aspect of the release, putting finishing touches on the text so it's as clean as it can be, and the part that's been exceptionally thrilling for me: dealing with the artwork.

This one's a little different from what I've done before, in that there's actually interior artwork as well as the cover art. I can't explain why, exactly, at least not yet, but there is. When the idea was first tossed out there a couple months ago during the planning stage of the cover art, no one was really sure it would pan out. Then I was talking with my editor, the always wonderful Erin Al-Mehairi, and we came up with the skeleton for that artwork, and it became a little more real.

And then, last weekend, I saw it for the first time.

There's a moment when you're putting a book out where it all suddenly becomes real. Maybe it's when you see the listing on Amazon, maybe it's when you send in those final edits, maybe it's the first time you see the cover. For me, it was seeing that PDF proof of the interior art. My first thought as I waited for my phone to download the file was, "holy shit, this is actually happening." Then I opened it and saw the art.

It's a good thing I was alone in my car at the time. Otherwise, someone would have thought I'd lost my mind.

I giggled. I barked out a laugh. Then I giggled again. Each page I scrolled through was its own moment of surreal excitement. Vague images that had only existed in my imagination so far as hazy ideas suddenly exploded into full, living color. I skimmed it, pulled off the road, parked, and then looked at them again without worrying that I'd end up crashing if I didn't pay attention. When I got home and loaded it up on the computer, so I could see it in its full glory, the reaction was the same: uncontrollable giggling and smiles. At least my family already thinks I'm nuts, so I didn't have to worry about what they might think of it.

There's still a bit of waiting to go. We'll be revealing the cover very, very soon, and more details will follow between now and July 15th when the book is unleashed. Still, it's those little moments that make the wait worthwhile. Once you all get to see it, and I no longer have to remain somewhat vague, I hope you'll all agree that the wait was well worth it.

And Breathe...

I'm finally doing it. I promised it before, and ended up going back on it time and time again, but this time I'm actually going to follow through: I'm taking a break.

I've discovered as I've worked my way through OBSESSED (formerly CLUTTER) that the words have been coming harder and harder. Where I was finishing a chapter a night, now I'm doing good to finish a chapter in three or four days. The story's there, it's just not coming as easily as it once did. At first I thought it was because of some of the things I was trying to do with this one, but then it occurred to me that it was more because I was creatively exhausting myself. So, to try and reverse that course, I'm going to take a break.

As it stands right now, I've got about three or four chapters left to go with OBSESSED. I'm going to finish those up so the story is out of me like some terrible childbirth, and then I'm going to shift my focus to other things until sometime after Scares That Care in July. I've got ideas and things on the bench, but I"m going to hold off starting them for now. One, the third book in the Time of Ashes Cycle, has a long planning period before I can even think about digging into it, as well as a third and second draft respectively on the first two books in that series. I've also got what may turn out to be a modern-day fairy tale rattling around in my head, and while I'm excited to start on it, I know I'm not where I need to be to write it just yet.

Instead of new stuff, then, I'll be working on revisions for the literal mountain of manuscripts I've accumulated over the last couple of years. I really want to get my post-apocalyptic tale cleaned up and submitted (got a couple of targets in mind), I need to finish getting the Cochran books squared away, and then I've got the stand-alone stuff to fine-tune as well. Somewhere in that I'd like to play with some of the less broad tales floating around in my imagination, and maybe send some of those into the wild (anthologies? Patreon? newsletter? all or none of the above?). I also need to get back to focusing on the business end of this somewhat, too, since I've got THE JOURNAL OF JEREMY TODD launching right before Scares, and MUDCAT in the pipeline for edits and publication soon, too. I want both of these to do well, so that means I need to pay attention.

So, a breath. A break. And then back to the insanity once my gray matter recharges. Of course, knowing myself as I do, I'll probably get too restless to actually relax and will be right back into the thick of it before I know it.

A Simmering Pot of Life

It's been an interesting couple of months.

First, I've been trying to get used to a new day job. The biggest change is my schedule. I've gone from being home on or about midnight at the latest most nights, to walking through the door at 2 or sometimes even 3. Since most of my writing was done when I got home from the old day job, that's been an interesting transition, to say the least. I've slowed down, and while I say it's temporary, I have to wonder at that. I wrote at a breakneck pace for all of the last year and a half, which has made me wonder if I was going to reach a point where I would run out of ideas. That hasn't happened yet, thankfully, but I'm starting to see my newfound slower pace as a blessing in disguise. I still write most every night, but now I'm finding myself relaxing into it, letting the scene flow rather than racing along until it was done.

This has ended up making me love my craft more, strangely enough. By slowing down I've discovered I get deeper into my character's heads, spend more time on their thoughts and feelings about what's happening around them. This is a good thing, I think. I reserve the right to change my opinion if this current project lingers on too long, but for now, I can say with confidence that I've rediscovered what I love about this writing thing in the first place.

On the health front, things are continuing to improve. I've had to get my meds adjusted, but that's part of the process. I successfully went from smoking to vaping, and have now gone down to the lowest nicotine content available for it. If things continue as I expect them to, I should be nicotine-free in about a week and a half, at most. I won't lie; that's something of a terrifying prospect. Nicotine and creativity have always been linked for me, and I do have the worry that if I no longer have the nicotine, I won't have the creativity, either. I know it's silly, but I can't help wonder about it. I'll laugh at myself in a couple of months when I look back and see I had nothing to worry about, but for now, I'll just have to wait and see and trust that things will work out for the best. Strangely, I'm confident they will.

Good news on the publication front: THE JOURNAL OF JEREMY TODD is moving along for release this June. I spent a pleasant couple of days discussing cover ideas and art direction with the guys at Sinister Grin, and came out of it even more excited than I was before about this one seeing the light of day. We've got an awesome idea in mind, and I can't wait for everyone else to lay their eyes on it!

Something fun: if you'd like to tell me in person what you think about it, or any of my other stuff, you'll get your chance this summer! I won't be working it, but I will be attending Scares That Care at the end of July, so feel free to say "hi" if you see me there!

There are other things going on, but unfortunately, I can't talk about them just yet. Suffice it to say, my career is on the track I wanted it to be, and I couldn't be more thrilled about that. Believe me, I'll be letting everyone else in on them as soon as I can.

That's it for now, just a quick little update to let everyone know what's going on with me lately. I hope to talk to you all again soon!

Much Can Change in a Month...

If you’re not interested in a personal post, you might want to skip this one. If you’re only here to check up on the progress of my writing or things of that nature, you might just want to skim it. If, on the other hand, you’re actually interested in me as a person and not a writing machine, stick around. You just might learn something.

As I write this, it’s my forty-second birthday. My age and the answer to the Ultimate Question of Life, the Universe, and Everything are now the same (kudos if you caught that reference). I’ve already talked about how my life changed over the last year in regards to writing, so I’m not going to rehash that. What I AM going to do is talk about some of the other massive changes my life has undergone, and most of them in the last month.

Some of you may know or have picked up on the fact that I quit my day job earlier this month. I wish this was because I was earning enough from writing to support myself, but that’s not the case. Actually, the reasons are more important than that.

I’m one of those people who won’t go see a doctor unless I’m at death’s door. I don’t know why, that’s just how I’ve always been since I got old enough to make the decision for myself. Well, shortly after the New Year, I broke down and went to get checked out. I was diagnosed with high blood pressure several years ago, but like an idiot, I stopped taking my medication for it. Things became stressful at the day job, with people showing up to work when they wanted to and things of that nature, which only made my health issues worse. To cope, I was self-medicating to some degree, up from the normal couple of beers or so I’d drink while writing to killing a fifth of scotch or bourbon in a couple of days. I was smoking like a chimney, and generally doing everything I could to kill the stress I was feeling. The problem was, I was killing myself, too. My heart had started beating so hard it was nearly coming out of my chest, and to say I felt miserable would be an understatement.

So, afraid I was going to have a stroke or a heart attack literally at any moment, I broke down and went to see the doctor. Ever hear the old adage your life changes in an instant? I understand that now.

Let me get this out of the way right up front: I’m not dying. Well, no more than any of us are, at least. That doesn’t mean I don’t have things to deal with, though.

They took my blood pressure five times over the course of that two-hour visit. The average reading was around 140 over 110. In case you don’t know, that’s the danger zone, folks. I was informed that had I not come in, I would have most likely had that heart attack or stroke within a week’s time. They did an EKG right then and there, and didn’t like what they saw. I was put on some heavy-duty medication and told to come back in a week. They also scheduled me to have an ultrasound on my heart, which I did. The end result was that my left ventricular and aortic chambers were enlarged, and I have a slight murmur. I was, in effect, killing myself, and being quite successful at it.

I did some serious soul-searching that night after I got home and filled my wife in on my stupidity to that point. I realized quite clearly that if I didn’t make some serious changes in my life, I wouldn’t have a life to change for very much longer. Change number one: the drinking went from borderline alcoholic back to reasonable again, FAST. A beer or two a day? Fine. A normal-sized Scotch or bourbon every now and again? Still okay. My wife even told me I am allowed to have a glass of red wine every day, should I so choose (since red wine’s good for the heart; what a kick that I only liked blushes and whites, isn’t it?). Going to bed half-drunk (if not fully drunk) every night? Over. Done. Not happening.

Change number two: the smoking. I haven’t quit, but I’ve cut back. I’m evaluating options for how best to quit altogether, and will be putting those into action within the next week or so.

And change number three: quit the stress-factory that my day job had become.

For those of you who worked with me or just wondered why I’d done that, there’s the reason. A bit more complicated, but that’s it in a nutshell.

Now, maybe it seems insane to leave a job I’d held for nearly seven years, and that not only paid my bills but kept me insured. Why lose my health insurance during a point in time where I obviously need it the most? Well, my stress levels dropped almost immediately, that’s why. I’d rather fret over trying to figure out how to pay bills and medical expenses than keep making reasons to need that stress in the first place. Money stress is one of those normal, everyday things we all deal with. The rest of it wasn’t. And without the rest of it, the money stress doesn’t seem nearly as bad anymore.

There’s been good stuff, too. Most of it after I started trying to get myself back on track, funny enough. Less than a week after leaving the old job, I had a new one. That has proven to be a stepping stone to another job, that will have a more stable income, and benefits down the line, if not immediately. I had a wonderful response to a story I submitted to an anthology (that I can’t talk about at the moment), and while I didn’t make the preliminary ballot, I did end up on the reading list for the Stokers—off a self-published debut novel I didn’t expect to do anything at all. I’ve actually felt closer to my family, and have learned to appreciate my life more. Maybe it was a horrible way to get there, but emotionally and physically, I feel better than I have in a very, very long time.

So why make this post? Let me be clear about one thing: I am NOT looking for sympathy. I did this to myself, so it would be pretty foolish to expect anyone to feel sorry for my stupid decisions. If you want to pray for me, or send me good vibes, by all means do so. I’ll take all of both I can get. But don’t feel bad for me. I made my mistakes, caught them, and am trying to correct them. That’s just life.

No, I’m making this post so maybe it can serve as a warning or a help for others. I am living proof that you shouldn’t muck around with your health. If something’s wrong, get checked out. If your job is killing you, find something else. Life is too freaking short to subject yourself to a slow suicide.  There will never be a point where you are completely worry-free, so don’t even try for that. Just try to make those worries as small or compacted as you can. Find something to make you smile and hold onto it for all you’re worth. Simply put: don’t just exist in life, actually LIVE it!

Okay, I’ll step down off the soapbox now and wrap this up. I think, ultimately, I made this post because I needed to point some things out to myself, to take stock in a public way so there’s no chance of me lying to myself down the line. I did it to clear the air and dispel some rumors that flared up at the old day job after I left. And I did it because, well, I’m damned proud of the changes I’ve made in the last couple of weeks. I wish I hadn’t been forced into making them, that I’d simply come to them naturally, but things happen as they’re supposed to. All I can do now is capitalize on that.

Thanks for sticking around through this, and I’ll talk to you all again soon!

Cleaning Up

Today, my short story collection Three Shots and a Chaser found its way onto Kindles everywhere. There's a paperback version coming in the next few days, once I approve the final proof for it, but either way, it meant I needed to do some updating on the website.

To that end, I also ended up doing a serious overhaul on the Bookshelf page. Previously, I listed everything I'd finished at least a first draft of, but as I looked at it today, it occurred to me that it was starting to become a bit hard to keep track of or see the important bits anymore. So, I cleaned it.

Now, it only shows things that are actually released, or are in the pipeline for release, or that have been submitted for possible release. This way, it's going to be much easier for me to keep it current and updated, and when you all want to see what's out there, you'll be able to much, much easier than before.

What happens when my actual release list gets as long as the written list that was already there? Well, I'll cross that bridge when I get to it. But for now, it made my life a little easier.

A Strange Day, A Strange Reality

It’s a strange day in America.

As I write this, the country is waking up to a new president-elect, one that so many expected would be nothing but a blip on the radar as election night results came in. That blip became an all-consuming one, though, and suddenly—understandably, in many cases—people were forced to see that the country wasn’t what they thought it was.

The arguments have already begun, the fingers are being pointed as people try and figure out how it happened. We are experiencing our own version of Brexit, where everything indicated things would go one way and now that they’ve gone the other, no one is quite ready to accept it or believe it. Maybe in another four years, or eight, or maybe even more, this will fade, once the future arrives and we can reflect back on everything, but for now, it’s still very, very raw.

I'm not all that surprised that things turned out the way they did; this was always a possibility, no matter how remote it seemed. But that so many people are shutting down, closing themselves off, and generally refusing to be anymore. Facebook is never the most wholesome environment, but as I’ve scanned the posts in my feed today, I can’t help but be amazed at how bleak it’s become, how despondent, how utterly devoid of hope and joy. The rest of social media is the same, and the feeling is that it’s not just people’s online behavior that’s been affected. Hate is running rampant, hate and fear, and that’s the tragedy here.

I do understand this to some degree. People had much of themselves invested in this, one way or the other. There are many people rejoicing today, just as there are many who are in mourning. Emotions are high. Some need a chance to heal, to process, to come to whatever acceptance they’re able—if they’re able at all. Others feel vindicated, and need the chance to express that vindication publicly. In many ways, we're experiencing something akin to the shock after 9/11: the country had to process what happened in whatever way they could, good or bad, and then it began to move forward again.

What I hope is that we will see the same thing happen now that happened then. After the initial shock wore off, people pulled together, ignored their differences, and stood united against the common enemy. There were fringe elements, of course—there always will be—but for the majority of the nation, we stood as one. For what might be the last time I can remember, we felt like the United States, and not a bunch of people with their own agendas, all our differences set aside for one brief, uplifting moment amidst the turbulent storm we endured.

As I sat glued to the television, night turning to early morning, watching returns come in, I took one thing away from it all above everything else. We are not a united nation. We are a nation that is dramatically divided. Race, class, creed, morality, distrust; everything is on the table. The things that brought us to this point cannot be laid at the feet of any one thing; to try and do so is a disservice to the reality we all witnessed unfolding. The only way to fix it is to come together like we’ve done in the darker moments of our nation’s past, and go forth together, united as one people, no matter what our background or heritage.

I’m not deluded; I fully understand that is much easier said than done. But it is the only way we can come through this without destroying ourselves.

If you’re one of those people who need to heal and to process, please, by all means do so. Take the time to find the strength within yourself that you’re going to need in the days and years to come. Come to remember what you were so passionate about in the first place, and please don’t let your voices stay silent for long.

If you feel the need to gloat and revel in your victory, one of the great things about this nation is that you have every right to do so. But please understand that hate and intolerance have played a large part in bringing us to this point. You must be willing to find common ground if the country is to heal itself and move on. You don’t have to agree with what someone else believes or thinks or feels, you just have to accept that they believe it or think it or feel it. Differences aren’t all bad; it’s the uniqueness of every individual person that grants us such potential for greatness. You can dislike what someone does, but remember that they are still a person, too, with hopes and dreams and feelings, just like you.

Things look bleak today, but they will only remain that way if we let them. Let’s not do that. 

Everyone talks about how much they love to be an American, so let’s get back to the key word in our country’s name and become the United States once again.

Things Past and Things to Come

Another month is gone, and so I figure it's about time for a quick update on what's going on in my world lately.

First, it is now November, which means NaNoWriMo is officially underway. I'll be working on my coming of age novel, tentatively titled What Sleeps Beneath. After the first session last night, I'm already over 3k words in, so it's off to a fantabulous start. For the record, the progress meter is showing a completion based on the projected final word count, and not the 50k expected for NaNoWriMo. If you want my progress on that, check out my profile under JohnDQuick on the official NaNoWriMo site.

Also, my upcoming short story collection Three Shots and a Chaser is still available for pre-order at only $0.99 for the rest of this month. Once it releases on December 1, the price goes up to $1.99, so make sure to use the links on the right side of this page and grab your copy early!

Additionally, there's some exciting things afoot for Consequences, things I can't really discuss yet. I'll just say there's still more to come from it, and leave it at that. Feel free to grab a copy if you haven't already; the links are conveniently provided for you on the right side of the page.

I did end up having to take a two-week break from the writing thing around the beginning of October while I dealt with a pretty rough case of bronchitis. I am happy to say I'm mostly recovered from that now, at least to the point I'm past the utter exhaustion that seemed to accompany it. It's been a little rough getting back into the swing of things, but it's finally starting to click again, so there should be much more to come from me in the months ahead.

Also, there's some things I'm starting to put together for next year, both related to the impending release of The Journal of Jeremy Todd and in just building my brand. I'm beginning to find my voice, so keep watching for the launch of a newsletter (probably monthly, though I'm still planning this), and possibly something a little more... let's say "vocal". Obviously I'll give more details as they arise.

That's pretty much all I've got. Keep watching for more reviews as I start to get caught up on my backlog, and hopefully I'll have some other things posted on here, some things that have been gestating in my brain for a while now, soon.

Keep watching, and thanks for all the support!

One Week: The (Not-So) Glamorous Life of an Indie Writer

Even for only having one book out, I've heard the fun comments: wondering why I have a day job still, or the ones that really set my blood boiling, that writing can't really be that hard. That kind of thing. So in the interest of showing just how glamorous and "easy" it is, here's how my week has gone so far:

Sunday: Work at the day job, so try to spend a little time with the family beforehand. That's tough, since I didn't get home until 1 AM from my shift the night before, and was enough of a glutton for punishment that I decided to write anyway. Not that it wasn't worth it, mind you. Just makes it tough to get up early. Get home from the day job at about 10:30 PM. Change clothes, grab some Scotch, head outside to write. Check Facebook / Twitter / Goodreads for anything going on and to wind down, end up in bed at around 3 AM.

Monday: Day job again, but did get to relax some beforehand. During the shift, have to deal with employees doing stupid things that won't be resolved tonight, and will drag on to the next day: something to look forward to (and yes, that's sarcasm). Get home at 10:30, Scotch and writing. The Scotch flows a little heavier this time, since I'm stressed. Answer some emails regarding something I'm working on (that will be revealed in a couple of weeks), set up to mail out a signed copy of Consequences, then in bed around 2.

Tuesday: Admin day at the day job, so in early. Get things done, deal more with the employee issue and discover it will drag on another day before it's resolved, but at least it's not a hard night after that. Home around 11. This time it's just beer during the writing, which is easier. In bed around 2 again, but not as stressed as the day before.

Wednesday: Off day from the day job, but I feel like crap thanks to the weather change here, which means I'm nowhere near as productive as I should be. I manage to get some work done on the thing I'm vaguebooking, but that's about it. That night is my weekly tabletop gaming night, but I feel so bad I can't really enjoy it. No writing today, but at my publicist's request I do get Skype set back up so I can be on some podcasts she's setting up. Wind up chatting with a friend on Facebook for a while to wind down. The conversation goes well, so not in bed till like 4:30. Still, while my head is stuffed up, I feel less stressed, so that helps. On the plus side, the issue with the employee at my day job reaches a resolution, so there's that at least.

Thursday: Second day off, and a bit more productive. Wake up at 9AM to deal with a couple of minor crises at home, then back in bed in 9:45. Finally wake up for good at 2. Coffee, then more coffee. Get some more things done on the vaguebook thing, and get to spend some family time. Actually feel a little better. Start putting things together to take care of the things around the house that are falling apart due to my insane schedule. Finally get to watch a movie with the wife and kids (The VVitch, which was incredibly awesome, by the way), and munched on some pumpkin pie, the first stage of my acceptance that summer's gone and fall is here. Back to the writing, then discuss the SP with the person helping it, then a FB chat with a friend. Since I slept so late, not in bed till 4.

As I write this, it's Friday, and things for this whole weekend are looking to be interesting. The signed book arrived damaged beyond belief, so I get to do the insurance claim on it, and send another copy. Sending the copy I don't mind; dealing with the post office on an insurance claim, yeah, that's going to suck. Back to the day job, so I'll get home around 1 AM or so tonight, and will work on the SP a bit before going to bed. Probably no social media this time, since it looks like I'll be pulling a double at the day job tomorrow. As a result, I'll get home at 1 AM tomorrow and just collapse into bed. Then it's Sunday again, and the entire process will repeat itself.

I wish I could say this is unusual, but it's not. This is actually a fairly typical week in my life. Why the day job? Because I need to pay my bills. Maybe in ten years, or more, I'll be able to write full-time and only keep a part time job to help with expenses, but remember, I'm just starting out, and didn't go through a traditional publisher to get there. "But I thought your book was doing well?" It's been well-received, and has sold more than I expected it to, that's true. But it's one book. Royalty payments aren't going to be that awe-inspiring on one book.

Besides, the money was never the point. If it was, I wouldn't have done it to start with.

So why do it at all? Why subject myself to this if I'm not making money hand over fist? Simple: because this is my passion. This is my calling. Simply put: this is what I want to do. I'm a storyteller; it's what I was made for, so I do it.

Here's the thing: I'm at a point in my life where I can do it this way. I have a wife that understands my compulsion, and supports it. I have kids that are a little older, so they are okay with me doing this, and also support it. I have a day job to pay the bills while I pursue my dream. Do I want to sustain myself on this alone at some point in the future? Absolutely. But I know that takes work to get there, and I have no problem at all in doing it. After all, aside from the time I get to spend with my family and friends, I find myself most at peace with the world while I'm sitting in front of the computer with a blank page before me and a story pouring out of me.

If nothing else, that alone would make it all worth while.

Random Musings: A General Update

It's strange to look at the posts I've made on here the last month or so and see mostly reviews for other folks, and notices on the Summer of Consequences Publicity Tour, and little else. Don't get me wrong, neither of those are a bad thing at all; it's just a little surprising considering what I expected this blog to be when I first started out with it. So if you'll indulge me a little selfishness, here's a snapshot of what all's going on with me right now.

First, I want to explain why all the reviews. It's simple, really. Since I published Consequences, I've discovered how supportive the horror community is. Doing all these reviews is my way of paying that back somewhat; no more, no less. Plus, I read a lot, so why not toot the horn for some of the great books I've had the privelidge of enjoying the last little while? To that end, there's another one coming later this week, and I'm sure there will be many more in the future.

On the publishing front, Consequences has been getting rave reviews, which still blows me away. I never expected this kind of reception when I put it out there, but I am eternally grateful that it's done as well as it has. To think that I managed to break the stereotype of self-published books being poorly written, poorly edited, and therefore poorly received is a relief. And there's more on the horizon! The Journal of Jeremy Todd is currently expected to be released by Sinister Grin on June 1, 2017 (though that can change, in either direction). My short story "In the Moonlit Forest Glade" will be coming out in Full Moon Slaughter, edited by Toneye Eyenot, from JEA Press probably in October. And, to top it all off, I'm working on something now that has me kind of excited. I'll say more when I know more, but keep your eyes peeled for an announcement pretty soon.

I've also been writing like crazy. The killer catfish tale that started as a joke is now finished, as you've seen if you monitor my progress bar. Mudcat ended up being much different from what I expected, hopefully in a good way. Time will tell. It's currently simmering while I work on other things, awaiting the time I start in for the second draft. Alone in Babylon, my post-Apocalyptic tale, is nearing its end as well, and I'm a little sad by that. I really connected with my main character here, and am not looking forward to letting him go. Unfortunately, that's how it works. I've reached the point where I know how the story ends, which means it won't be long now before I type "The End" and move on to whatever's next. I'm thinking something a little lighter in tone for the next one, and have a couple of ideas, so we'll see what pans out.

My self-edits have taken a bit of a back seat as other things play out, like the secret project, and changes at the day job, but as things begin to settle back down, I'll be getting back to them more consistently. I'm currently working on the second draft of Off the Beaten Path, with a long-overdue edit to the third Cochran book, Blood Games, to follow.

Speaking of the Cochran series, Demon at the Window is still making its rounds through submissions, so hopefully I'll have some news on it soon.

And that's pretty much where I'm at right now. Lots going on, but it's all behind-the-scenes stuff that translates to a waiting game. I do have some more meaty posts rattling around in my head that I just need to sit down and write once I have the time. Until then, thanks for stopping by, and keep checking back for more as it comes!

"Why Horror?" - The Question Answered

One of the questions I’m often asked when people find out what I do is one I’m sure everyone working in this genre has had posed to them at some time or another: why horror? Invariably, the question comes with one or two facial expressions as well, and there’s very little wiggle room between them. Either we get a look of genuine and excited curiosity, or one of abject disgust and judgment. I’m going to attempt to answer that question here, if for no other reason so that when I get asked again, I can just point them to this post and call it a day.

First, let me say what this post isn’t.  This is not to be taken as me defending myself for anything, mainly because I don’t see anything I need to defend myself for. While I don’t discuss it much, I am a spiritual and religious person, and therefore the only person to my mind that I might need to defend myself to is God, and thanks to Ron Kelly, who went through the same thing and offered me some advice and guidance in that regard, I believe that He and I are good on this.

On that topic, this is also not going to be a religious-based argument on the merits or failings of writing horror. Maybe the time will come when I do make that post, maybe it won’t, but this ain’t it.

What it should be considered as is my personal answer to the question of why I write horror. Nothing more, nothing less.

Now that we have that out of the way….

For me, there are two reasons why I write in this genre, one fairly simple and straightforward, the other not so much. Let’s deal with the easier one first.

Stephen King once famously said that we make up horrors to help us deal with the real ones, and never more has this been evident than now. Take a moment and scroll through your Facebook newsfeed, or turn on your favorite cable news channel and spend a moment or two reading the headline ticker. You don’t need to take long, just five minutes should be enough. Go ahead, I’ll wait.

You back? Good. Now let me take a guess at what you saw.

Election coverage is generally first: Hillary supporters calling Trump a demagogue racist bigot, Trump supporters calling Hillary a crooked lying establishment crony, and if the receiving party doesn’t like what the originating party has to say, the receiving party is welcome to unfriend or block them. Racial tensions in the country at levels that rival pre-Civil Rights Movement days, and it’s all Trump / Obama’s fault. All guns should be banned. This gun is mine, you can’t take it away. That Confederate flag is racist, take it down. This Confederate flag is mine, you can’t take it away. You can’t use that particular bathroom. Your way of life and perceptions of it are wrong, and my thoughts are the only ones that are valid. You can’t say that, someone might get offended. Black Lives Matter, All Lives Matter, No Lives Matter (thank you, Nihilists).

Then there’s the harder stuff: terrorists wreaking havoc, blowing something up somewhere, or decapitating someone on live video posted to the internet. North Korea declares war on the US because we targeted their precious supreme leader for sanctions over human rights issues. This many dead here, that many dead there, one kid killed themselves because of bullying, while another decided psychopathy was cool and slit another kid’s throat for no reason at all.

The bottom line is that the world is now a scary place to live, and the internet’s filled with anger and hate directed not at the targets that deserve it, but the people who should be standing side by side against those things. Somewhere, George Orwell and Aldous Huxley must be shaking their heads.

If, like myself, you try to be a generally positive person, it can quickly become overwhelming.

Writing—to a writer, at least—is a form of escapism just like reading or television or movies or video games. Is it any wonder, with the things we’re bombarded with on a daily basis, that we also use it to try and make sense of the insanity and horror all around us?

I feel I should also point out that not everything’s bad all the time. I’ve read posts on Facebook, and seen news stories on television or in the paper that made me laugh, or generally just acted as a ray of light among the darkness. Ironically enough, many of those are from fellow horror writers (looking at you and your Twitter feed, Somer Canon, and your constant words of encouragement, Jaime Johnesee), so take from that what you will.

The second reason I write horror is a little harder to explain, but I’m going to try. The best way I can think to do it is to ask a question in return:

Why do you think I have a choice?

Fiction writers are a strange breed. We don’t see the world the same as you, because we can’t help but witness events through our own unique creative lenses. Here’s an example:

You see a man and woman, sitting close, smiling at one another atop a hill, trees swaying gently in the breeze behind them. This is all the spark a writer needs for a scene. The thriller writer knows they’re from opposing governments, and one or both of them are probably selling secrets. The suspense writer knows one of them is a criminal on the run. The romance writer knows this is only the beginning of a whirlwind relationship that will be fraught with tragedy before they live happily ever after. The fantasy writer sees the dragon swooping down at them. The sci-fi writer sees the UFO hovering above, about to abduct them for experimentation. And the horror writer sees the maniac creeping up through the woods, about to slaughter them.

I’m generalizing, of course, but that didn’t stop the fact that I saw the maniac first before I wrote the other possibilities.

I grew up watching reruns of the Twilight Zone, the Outer Limits, and Tales from the Dark Side. I also loved the old fifties Hammer horror stuff that occasionally ran on TV, if I was really lucky. I read King, and Koontz, and Barker. As I got older, my tastes shifted. I enjoyed the slasher movies not for the story, but for the magic of “how did they do that?” I was an only child, so books were my constant companions, the splatterpunks and Tolkien, and the aforementioned Orwell and Huxley, and countless more. I loved ghost stories around the campfire, and “real” hauntings and the like. When I got older and the bug hit me to start making up my own stories, what else was I going to write?

Could I write other stuff, different genres? Sure. Do I think it would be as good or as rewarding to me? No, because my heart wouldn’t be in it. I’d be doing it to please someone other than myself, and that’s all. One of the best rules I ever heard when it came to this craft is “write the books you want to read”. That’s all I’m doing, for good or for ill.

And as to that look we get when the question comes up? Look, I get it that horror’s not for everyone. I’m not pushing you to read it. All I’m saying is don’t judge us by what we write. This community is one of the most welcoming I’ve ever seen anywhere, and to a person the other authors and publishers and publicists and the like I’ve interacted with have been nothing but open, helpful, and encouraging. To me, that makes them good people, and I’m proud to be numbered among them.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go and deal with some of today’s headlines in my own special way, then look at funny nerd memes until it’s time for bed.

From the Strangest Place Comes... Strangeness

Most people who know or meet a writer ask the same question at some time or another. Most writers have heard the question, and either welcome it or shake their head at it. There doesn't seem to be any middle ground to it, so we do our best to come up with an answer that sounds suitably literary or humorous, or sometimes actually have an answer because it was asked so specifically that it's a slam dunk.

"Where did you get the idea for [insert story here]?"

Generally speaking, the answer is usually the same, even if the specifics vary: something just clicked in our mind and we suddenly felt the urge to write about it. And sometimes, on the surface, the thing that clicked is so simplistic or so asinine that the person who asked the question leaves with serious concerns about our mental stability.

I'll admit, sometimes it seems like a valid concern. Here's one example.

I've wanted to do a "creature feature" for a while now. The classics have been done to death, and honestly, I just can't come up with a new idea for them, so things like vampires and werewolves and zombies are out, as are legendary things like mummies and Bigfoot, and even the Loch Ness Monster. So the idea went on the mental shelf with all the other things I'd like to write about at some point until such time as I could find my monster.

Well, I found it last night. And it grew out of a joke.

Wednesday nights are "friend nights" where we all gather and play whatever tabletop roleplaying game is up in the rotation. We just finished D&D, and now I'm running a horror-themed game (go figure). Last night, however, was just a chance to hang out and catch up. One of my friends is also trying his hand at writing, so naturally the conversation ended up going in that direction. He mentioned that once he accepted that he himself was from the south, and that his story and main character were southern, the story flowed better. Accept the southern roots, as it were. One aspect clicked in my head, too, but I didn't recognize it at the time.

I mentioned my desire for the creature feature, and we discussed that a bit. He mentioned how hilarious it would be if the killer was a giant hybrid catfish-man or something, barb moustache and all. We all laughed and moved on. Then I see the kids are watching some show on television about catfish and hear they can survive up to 30 minutes out of water. Then I discover that those fish you hear about swimming up into a man's... manhood... are part of the catfish family.

I can take a hint. Besides, what's more southern than catfish?

An idea clicked, so next up on my worktable, as soon as I finish Justicar, I'll be doing my creature feature. My own "B-Novel".

If you ever find yourself down south, beware. Mudcat lives!

One Year Later: My Life in Writing So Far...

On July 5 of last year, I sat down and wrote the opening lines to what would eventually become Consequences. This wasn't the first time I'd tried to write something, nor was it the first time I did so with an eye toward publishing. It was the first time I'd done so with the mindset that if I wanted to make a go of this, I had to treat it seriously, not as some idle pastime to give outlet to the creative juices roiling in my mind. It would be my second job, and that meant I had to dedicate a substantial portion of my time to it. I had no idea whether or not it would be worth it, but the decision was made: I had just turned forty at the start of the year, this was what I wanted to do with my life, and I'd put it off long enough.

Over the course of that next month, I felt my mind opening in ways I'd never imagined. Treating writing as work (albeit fun work) gave me a discipline that I'd been lacking in my previous attempts. I refused to take a day off, sitting down at midnight most nights and writing until the chapter I was working on was finished. There were days where I was nearly exhausted at the day job, but to me, that was a small price to pay.

When the end of July came around, I looked up and discovered that I'd not only maintained that discipline, I'd slam-dunked it. I typed "The End" right at a month after I started, and was amazed that I'd finished an 85,000 word first draft in such a short period of time. More shocking, I had an idea for another one. I didn't take a break, didn't give myself time to breathe, I just went right into that second book. At the same time, I started revising Consequences, using a red pen to mark up that manuscript, then taking one of my days off at the day job to actually enter the edits, write the new scenes, or revise the ones that weren't working.

August crept to a close, and I'd not only managed to do two full passes on the Consequences revisions, I'd also finished the second book. This was the point where I sat back and started seriously considering what I wanted to accomplish, since it was becoming obvious even to me that after so many false starts, I might actually be able to pull it off.

I had no extra money for publishing, but I knew that was the end game. While the industry had made leaps toward allowing someone to independently publish a book for little to nothing up front, I still wanted to do it right. If that didn't pan out, well, I could always do it myself later.

So I set some goals. First was that Consequences would see the light of day, if not that year (2015), then definitely the next. There were others, some of which I've yet to hit, some of which I've exceeded beyond my wildest imagination. But there was one that I was positive I would end up missing: that considering the pace I was going at, I would finish twelve first drafts of different novels in the next year.

I rethought that one as it became clear that trying to do edits and still spend time with my family and continue holding a full time day job would eventually make me slow down. So I backed it off, and set the goal at ten. It was still a stretch, but at least it gave me the chance to breathe a little. Still, I wasn't sure it would happen. Especially when things started rolling with independently releasing Consequences, and the submission and eventual acceptance of The Journal of Jeremy Todd (which, if you're curious, was book four in this mad dash). As the year turned, and I ran into the "books that wouldn't freaking end", I was sure that was a goal I would miss.

Until last night.

Because that's when I typed "The End" on the tenth first draft in a year.

When that happened, I started thinking back to those goals I set a year ago, and what all I'd accomplished since then. Consequences  was submitted, rejected, and then independently published. Against the stereotype, it has received generally favorable reviews from people whose opinions I respect. Did it hit the sales figures I'd hoped? No, but does any book ever really do that? Considering how little it turns out I knew about the process, I feel fortunate to have the sales I do have, and even more thrilled to have the reception it got. Besides, as any real writer will tell you, while we do enjoy the paycheck, that's not why we do this.

I signed a contract with one of the best small presses in the horror genre for what may have been the hardest to write of all the things I've ever done. You'll see it sometime around the middle of next year, from the awesome guys at Sinister Grin.

I found a publicist who has been exceptionally patient with me, and has taught me so much about what happens once I hit the "publish" button. Thanks to her, I doubt I'll make the same mistakes the next time that I did with Consequences. You can learn a lot reading things online, but to find someone who is friendly enough to actually walk you through the process, even before you've officially hired them, is a rare thing indeed. Erin's one of the most incredible and open people I've ever met, and I'm thrilled that we've started our burgeoning friendship and what I hope will be a long professional relationship as well.

And one of the biggest things, something I never anticipated? I've discovered a horror community that didn't just tolerate me, but actually welcomed me with open arms. Some of the most incredible men and women I've ever met who are right there in the trenches alongside me, plugging away at their craft with a passion and dedication I've never seen anywhere else. Folks who are always there to celebrate your successes and help pick you up after life knocks you down. People who don't just support each other as colleagues, but as family. Are they household names? Not really, but that doesn't matter. They (I suppose I should say we) are the ones who aren't doing it because of a six-figure book deal. We're the ones who are doing it because it's what we love, and because we'd go insane if we didn't (though there are a few who's sanity might be questionable anyway, but in a good way). Some of these people have been influences on my own writing, and I can't understate the honor I feel to be counted among them, much less how humbling it is to be sharing a publisher with some of them next year.

That, if nothing else, has made all those nights with almost no sleep worth it.

One year down, and what a year it's been. I'm not crazy enough to try and set the same writing goal for the next year. Seeing the stack of revisions I need to work on is starting to terrify me, truth be told. But I've still got goals, and I have no plans on stopping any time soon. If this first year's been this incredible, I cannot wait to see what the future holds!

Something Different

I love short stories, but for some reason, I've never been able to write them. It was as though the ideas and concepts that I came up with were too broad in scope, and didn't lend themselves to shorter works. For years, I tried without success to write something small that still made an impact, with little success.

Until now.

For some reason, this month that all changed. Along with working on my current novel, I've managed to hammer out some short stories as well. You won't see those on the progress meter, since they come and go so fast (by their very nature, I suppose), but I have updated the Bookshelf page to add the short fiction I've managed to finish.

Do I have enough to consider a collection? Hardly, nor would I right out of the gate. But there are anthologies looking for submissions all the time, and now I can finally start looking at those in addition to the longer stuff I'm doing.

So if you're curious, feel free to check it out. And if anything happens with any of them, I'll be sure to let you know. I'm just happy I seem to have overcome that particular block so I can have a broader range of outlets for the sometimes nutty ideas that come to mind!

Looking at the Numbers

Consequences has been out for a while, and while my sales figures aren't all that high (not unexpected since the only real marketing push I've given it has been through social media and on this site), I'm starting to see a trend here that's got me thinking about how to release and distribute anything in the future.

When I released it, I did the paperback through CreateSpace (owned by Amazon), and digital versions through both Kindle Direct Publishing and Draft 2 Digital, which put me in Apple iBooks, Barnes and Noble nook, and Kobo. Over the last couple of weeks, something interesting has emerged from the sales reports about that, though.

I've pushed the links for everything; why leave anything out, right? What I'm seeing is this:

• Paperback is still the most popular format, outselling the (cheaper) digital editions by a wide margin;
• Next is the Kindle edition;
• Dead last is combined .epub versions.

Now when I say dead last, let me clarify that: I've sold two copies in .epub format. One in iBooks, one on Kobo.

That's not very impressive.

And yes, I know most of what I've sold so far have been "friends and family" sales, but still, even among that small group the results are becoming pretty clear.

Amazon is dominating the market. Makes sense, actually: I own a nook, and I run the Kindle for Android app on it. Kindle has their Unlimited program where you can read for free if you're a part of it (the author gets royalties based on page views), but it requires exclusivity to Amazon for distribution to be part of it. Which means I'm not.

So I'm thinking. Yeah, I picked up two sales I wouldn't have gotten otherwise, but how many potential page views from KU am I missing out on? I'm a new author in this field, after all, and I'm sure there's folks out there who would rather take a free chance for them (and I still get paid, albeit less than a purchase) than to fork over money on something they're not sure they'll like. 

So is it even worth it to release to the other outlets?

I'm working on getting some more reviews and publicity to push Consequences, really try to reach a wider potential reader base, so I'm not carving anything in stone yet. But the odds aren't looking good for .epubs.

The digital book world may truly belong to Amazon now.

An Ending and a Beginning

I'm kind of dealing with some mixed feelings tonight. I just finished the first draft of Cochran #4, called The Perception of Reality. On one hand, that's a good thing. On the other hand, this is the last Cochran book I have in mind. The ending leaves room for more, but I just don't have any real workable ideas for another one. Not right now, at any rate.

See, what's been happening is I'd finish a standalone book, then work on the next Cochran book, and back and forth and so on and so forth. Now I can't do that. And that feels a little strange to me.

Not that I don't have any more ideas for stories. Quite the contrary. The question is which of the ideas I'm going to tinker with next. For this one, it's an idea I had while on vacation in the Smoky Mountains this past weekend. Which is weird, because before that idea came to me, I had three other options to choose from. Well, technically four but one is still gestating in the brain and not quite ready for exploration. So it's not like I'm going to stop writing or something stupid like that.

Still, I've come to love these characters like family in the six months or so I've spent with them. I always dreamed of doing a series of books, and these guys allowed me to do that. I'm going to miss playing around with them and seeing what kind of new trouble they're going to get up to this time. My only hope is that I've done them justice for their present send-off.

Of course, the publishing industry being what it is and how it works, once they start coming out no one may notice the gap if I end up with a good idea and do another one. It may be a continual stream that will make me look back at this post and shake my head at my lack of foresight. After all, if there were a fifth book, I already know who the client is and I know what one of the subplots would be. So who knows?

I guess we'll just have to wait and see.